The tissue issue

i need to talk about
the barebacking issue,
‘cause it makes my warts sprout
and me feel like a tissue

yes, i'd like to stop
'cause who wants co-infection?,

but the problem is: for semen

i just feel too much affection

yes i want to give it up

for hep c is sort of lethal

and after a creampie

i feel rather faecal

but after my trying sm,

and a bit of pelletophilia

what’s left for me

but semen memorabilia?

i love semen, i do,

it makes me feel edgy and Vaulty,

i’ve never even cared much

whether it’s sweet or salty

but, yes, i know i must stop

and i will try from today,

so being as it is april, I won’t

leave it till may

yet I won’t be able to stop

unless i find a replacement,

something that will satisfy me

in any old fetishy basement

what will it be then?

what will undo the semen charm?

is there anything, I pray, to

help me avoid self-harm?

Absofuckinglutely

The runs

Where the heck’s my flora,

yes, my flora,

my gutsy frigging flora.

One day I lost it,

my God, my Flora,

my nice intestinal

freaking flora.

It was apocalyptic, the flora,

the flora-losing day; a trauma;

infection gone, gone foreign fauna,

but also my useful flora.

And so no more shine, no aura,

no even good oral flora,

all irrecoverable, all vanished:

a world war two menorah.

Oh, Dora,

yeah, the Explorer,

will you please help me get

or at least recover

my friggingfuckingflora?